iPause

Mother Goose & Grimm

By Mike Peters


Copyright 2010 Grimmy, Inc. Distributed by King Features, Inc.

A Cat Named Cricket

It's time to step away from reviews for awhile, and work on some of my own writing. Way back before NaNo started last fall, I wrote a short story called Cricket. I posted a little tidbit on my other blog, and received more responses than I expected about "when are we going to see the rest?" I also posted a couple scenes here back in February, with a similar amount of pestering. ;) Well, here's the whole thing:

A Cat Named Cricket

There's a trick though. You have to be given permission to view the documents there. If I am giving you access to my hard work, it only seems fair that I at least know who you are. If you give me a shout in the comment section, I'll add you to the list. I've already anticipated several of you. The good news is that I think we'll only have to do this once.

I'd love to hear what you think!

Fablehaven

The basics:

1. Fablehaven-356 pages
2. Rise of the Evening Star-456 pages
3. Grip of the Shadow Plague-487 pages
4. Secrets of the Dragon Sanctuary-535 pages
5. Keys to the Demon Prison-593 pages

In the Fablehaven series, two siblings join their grandparents at a secret preserve for mythological creatures. Their job as caretakers is to protect the creatures from the world outside, as well as protect the world outside from the sometimes dangerous power of the preserve's inhabitants. A secret society opposes them in their efforts to contain the mythological beings and seeks to free them, regardless of the consequences. Therein lies the drama.

I thoroughly enjoyed these books by Brandon Mull and would recommend them to anyone who likes the fantasy genre. There are elements that are a little darker than some people might like, but there was also a levity present that made some of those same parts almost comical. The writing was clean, the characters were compelling, and I loved the idea of the preserve. It made me wonder if this wasn't the inspiration for the Sanctuary series on SyFy.
Throughout the series, the younger brother, with good intentions, continually goes against his grandparents orders and ends up bringing the world to the brink of disaster. His sister steps in, upstages him and sets things right (in the same way each time). By the end, we've seen a great deal of personal growth and Seth proves his worth...and his sister steps in and upstages him again. My complaint is that Seth was never allowed his place in the sun. The pattern became too predictable.
I also thought that the way the author dealt with the parents was a bit awkward.

Many times, in children's novels, the adults are moved out of the way so that the younger characters can solve problems and be the heroes. This series seemed to have a little trouble with that. Although Seth and Kendra do some amazing things, the answers ultimately come from adults.

I would be interested in hearing what others think after reading these books.

Restraining Order

Have you ever struggled to think of something positive to say about something you really didn't like? Like liver. I feel that way about a book I recently purchased and read. It was a YA christian fantasy story, so I was excited when I discovered it. I did manage to finish it, but only by force of will.
I'm sorry to say that I will never let the girls read it. First of all, the writing was terrible and I don't want them reading bad writing until they are old enough to evaluate it objectively and not emulate it. Secondly, the story crossed a spiritual line, of sorts, and I don't want them exposed to the concepts that it presented.

But this book brings up other questions for me--those of ethics in critique.
Do I have the right to evaluate another's work? I am not a published author. Am I qualified to pass judgment as I do? This is the easy question, and the answer is simple for me. I am not a published author, but I am a voracious reader. Even without any further study into the art of writing, this gives me the basis upon which I can review and make recommendations. Constant exposure to friends makes recognizing the enemy easy. Besides, everyone is allowed to have an opinion.

But what about when that opinion might cause someone harm?
I made it no secret how much I disliked Twilight, and I am not alone in my opinion. However, Stephanie Meyer is already a huge success as an author, even if the reasons are beyond my comprehension. My negative review is not going to damage her. In fact, because of her success, it might even make some people curious enough to read the book for themselves to see what all the fuss is about.

But the book that I refer to today is this author's very first published work. There has not been time for the success or failure of this book to be determined. What I say could possibly make an impact. At least it could if more than three people read this blog.
I am also taking into account that this is the very first fiction story that her publisher has ever released. Their entire catalog is inspirational and self-help type books. To some extent then, an engaging narrative and natural sounding dialogue is outside their realm of experience as well*. So some of the responsibility is theirs.
Every problem in this book could be fixed. It is also possible that this author (and publisher) will grow together and create something amazing in the future. And so, allowing for the learning curve, I think a little critical restraint is in order.
And some day, I might be on the receiving end.

*I am Not saying that non-fiction is not engaging. I am saying that different rules apply to fiction writing.

The Wickit Chronicles

The basics:

1. Ely Plot-128 pages
   
2. Fen Gold-128 pages
   
3. Ice Road-136 pages
   
4. Witch's Bell-128 pages

Joan Lennon is an author from across The Pond, and our library recently added her Wickit Chronicles to their shelf. So, of course, I had to read them. I was not disappointed. This is a fun and simple series that would tempt even reluctant readers. Each book contains one adventure of Pip, a boy from a small monastery in the Fen, and his living gargoyle companion, Perfect. The Fen makes for a very unique setting. Keeping to a single story line makes it very easy for beginning readers to follow, yet the books are exciting enough to hold their interest. The drama and danger remain innocent and I would not have a problem with my girls reading these.
I am impressed with the author's ability to stick to such a consistent page count. That takes some disciplined editing. I am looking forward to reading some of her other books.

Sorry, no stamp for this one.

Percy Jackson and the Olympians

The basics:

1. The Lightning Thief-375 pages
2. The Sea of Monsters-279 pages
3. The Titan's Curse-304 pages
4. The Battle of the Labyrinth-362 pages
5. The Last Olympian-381 pages

Without spoiling anything for you, these books tell of a young boy's discovery that he is the half mortal son of a Greek god, who still exist in secret, and about his journey to come to terms with his identity and all that it means.
Where to begin? The Percy Jackson series by Rick Riordan is masterfully done. I enjoyed every page. Plot, characters, dialogue, setting--this author has them all down. Such a delightful modern twist on ancient Greek mythology. I'm trying not to gush, so to keep it brief: you really need to read these for yourself. Before watching the movie.

As a mom, I really appreciated how Mr. Riordan kept these books kid friendly*, in spite of the underlying (or not so underlying) theme of battles and good vs. evil. Even in scenes of fighting and war, the gore is kept to a minimum or glossed over completely. It has been awhile since I read them, so I could be forgetting something, but that was the impression I had at the time. When so many books seem to be trying to introduce new levels of graphic horror, it was refreshing to read something that left a veil in place.

Will there be a stamp? Of course.

*This does not mean that you should not read it first and judge for yourself whether or not it is appropriate for your children. Bear in mind that I was also reading the Vladimir Todd Chronicles at about the same time and it could just be a comparison issue.

The Inheritance Cycle

The basics:

1. Eragon-503 pages
2. Eldest-704 pages
3. Brisingr-763 pages
4. ???

Several years ago, before I discovered Christopher Paolini's series of books, DH and I watched the movie, Eragon. We thought it was based on a role play type video game and the movie seemed okay. Now that I've read the books, the movie was really horrible. How can you make a movie when the whole story hasn't even been written yet?
The Inheritance Cycle* will be a series of four books, when the final volume is published. At this time, there is not any advanced info on when that will be--that I could find.

This is an epic story about a boy who finds a dragon's egg, becomes a Dragon Rider and must unite the various races, rescue the dragons and save the world.
Each volume is roughly the size of carry-on luggage, but the storytelling is dynamic and I didn't really mind. The characters are engaging, and the descriptive passages were interesting. There are enough subplots to justify the length--most of the time. I really enjoyed how he gives voice to the dragons' thoughts (book 3). In fact, I really enjoy the author's writing style, as it doesn't draw attention to itself, but merely supports the story.
I'm looking forward to the conclusion.

In our library, this series is in the YA section--probably because of the age of the main character. However, if you could give books a rating in the same way as movies, I'd have to rate these "R". There is a significant amount of carnage and gore (The world is engulfed in war and they are books about dragons, after all.)

*I'm including the links for informational purposes. I have not explored either site (except to look for a release date for book 4) and don't know what they contain. I can read epic tomes, but I don't have time to immerse myself in the online cult-like following of these various series. A person could make a career out of The Lord of the Rings culture alone.

PS-There will be a stamp.

Harry Potter

The basics:

1. The Sorcerer's Stone-309 pages
2. The Chamber of Secrets-341 pages
3. The Prisoner of Azkaban-435 pages
4. The Goblet of Fire-734 pages
5. The Order of the Phoenix-870 pages
6. The Half Blood Prince-652 pages
7. The Deathly Hallows-759 pages

I came to this series skeptical and expecting not to like it. That I enjoyed the first book says a lot. It was well written and engaging. The main characters lacked the dynamite that seems a given in such an epic series ( I found their constant bickering a tad annoying), but they were still passable. I enjoyed the descriptive passages and finished the book satisfied.
I intended to leave it at that, but a nephew had other ideas.So I rallied my stamina and read the rest of the series.
Books 2-5 could have been condensed into one book. The events quickly became monotonous and the ever increasing page length left me frustrated. I would catch myself skimming paragraphs instead of absorbing them (Yes, yes, the Quidditch match was exciting. Get on with it.). There were important scenes in each book, but I had trouble justifying the amount of time I had to spend to reach each nugget. After book five, I had Potter fatigue and needed a break. If I had read each book as it came out, that might have been different. I might have anticipated each new segment and relished the length, but I doubt it.
Book 6 seemed to get the volume size a little bit more under control and the story moved forward much better. By the end, I really needed to read book 7 (although I am uncertain still if it was because I wanted to know what happened or because I could finally see the light at the end of a very long tunnel.). Book 7 wrapped up all of the loose ends pretty well and saw the conclusion to some decent character development. All of them came away changed by their conflict (with the exception of Hermione, who seems to have come out unscathed-a minor transgression).
Throughout, the writing could have been a little tighter for my taste, but it stayed relatively clean. For the most part, it was a gratifying 4100 pages.

From a Christian's perspective, it could have been worse. Yes, the book involves magic (dark and otherwise), wizards and mythological creatures.Yes, some of the scenes are a bit graphic (especially for a visual person). No, I don't think these books are for everyone (my kids would have to be much older before I would consider letting them read them). But they could have been much darker and more sinister. With that in mind, I have no intention of watching the movies. Discretion is key.

End of Intermission

Just like any addiction, one of the dangers of refraining from reading for pleasure is that when you do begin to indulge once more, there is no such thing as moderation.
I suppose it was bound to happen then, that when I did begin reading just for the sake of reading again, it would be in gluttonous fashion.
Since dropping out of the blogosphere a month ago, I have read over 15,000 pages of fiction. (If you need proof, just look at my house.) The good news is that I have finally come up for air, satisfied and with plenty to talk about.
Are you ready?

The Once and Future King

I know I really enjoyed a book when I turn the last page, come up gasping for air, notice my poor children looking gauntly at me from the doorway, and realize that suppertime is three hours past.
This book was not it.

Now, don't get me wrong. I thoroughly enjoyed T.H. White's Arthurian tale.
I laughed out loud at the Monty Python like humor of the scenes with King Pellenore and those of the Grail quest. I was awed by the insightful, philosophical ramblings into the nature of mankind. I was even mildly appreciative that Disney didn't wreck The Sword in the Stone as badly as they have some of their other books-into-movies (although, I really would have liked to have seen them film the bit with the ants).

At times, I also hated this book. It was a bit like an enormous plate of pasta: the more you eat, the more is still left in the bowl. It tastes great in the beginning, but by the end, you just want to lay on the couch and moan. The fault is mostly mine. I have not read something this ponderous in quite awhile, and my brain is mushy. The other problem lies with Arthurian legends in general. You know they are going to end in tragedy, and it makes you want to hide with your fingers over your eyes.

Surely, with all of the time warping, alternate reality hi-jinx in the Science Fiction realm today, somebody could write a story where Arthur and everyone else live happily ever after? Just once? Pretty please?

Ffzztt!

Have you ever lived in a place with a fuse box? Can you recall the fizzing, popping sound that a fuse makes when it is overloaded with electricity?
I'm pretty sure that is the sound my brain made yesterday afternoon when I opened the fridge and the pitcher of grape juice dumped all over the floor. The purple liquid splattered over 60% of the contents of the fridge, my pants, and the surrounding cabinets before running under the grill and into the unknown darkness below the appliance. What followed was even uglier.
Why am I telling you this?
I have been spending a great deal of time studying about writing, publishing, marketing, platforms, and the business of being an author. I have not been spending much time on the business of being a wife and mother. My family is very supportive of my desire to write, but that's a little backwards for me. I want to be supportive of them, especially while my children are so young.
So, right about the time the fuse blew, a decision was reached. While I could no more stop reading and writing than I could stop breathing, I am going to stop pursuing publication for the time being.
What does that me for this blog? Probably only a few minor changes:

• A slight shift in focus-less critique, more fun
• Fewer posts per week
• More access to complete stories--since I no longer have to hold back because of the possibility of publication, I can post complete stories rather than just segments. I will probably begin by posting the rest of Cricket. Yeah, I thought you'd like that.

 This will give me time to hone my craft and build up a body of work. If, at some point, I feel ready to take the next step, you'll be the first to know.

Important Fiction

Last night, a discussion with a writing partner brought to the surface something my brain has been chewing on for a long time. Writing something important.
I just finished reading Pictures of Hollis Woods, a Newbery Honor Book from 2003, and it felt important from page one. But what makes a book important? Is it simply writing that evokes an emotional response? Or is it a story that creates an accurate picture of some aspect of the human condition? Or is it a work that causes the reader to make a change?
What makes a book important is highly subjective. The same story will touch different readers in different ways. Holes did not feel highly significant to me. An entertaining tale full of poetic justice, yes, but important? Not for me.

Writing a fiction book with a message that matters also seems like a tightrope act. With a well balanced act, the reader would not be able to look away, but would be unaware that they were learning anything. Too heavy on one side and it becomes a lecture that you wish had ended ten minutes ago. Too heavy on the other and it becomes a farce.

Could I write something important? Do I even want to? Hmmmm.

If you could write something important, what would be your message? If that's too personal, tell me about a book you have read that made a difference to you.

Newbery Medal

There are almost 400 books (I think it's something like 381--not that I counted) on the list of medal and honor recipients of the John Newbery Award. The award was initiated in 1922. Some quick calculations tell me that I have only read 54 of them, or a mere smear 14%. Only 22 of those were medal winners. I wonder if it's possible to read them all? And how long would it take?

For our next exercise, pick a Newbery book you haven't read yet and borrow it from the library (or better yet, find one your library doesn't have yet and donate it when you're done), and read it. Pay attention to the first sentence, the first paragraph and the book's special voice. Why do you think it won? What did that book contribute? Holler when you're finished and tell us what you thought.

For discussion, pick a favorite Newbery and share it with us. There is a convenient list on the ALA site, or Here on Wikipedia.
The girls and I all like The Bears on Hemlock Mountain by Alice Dalgliesh, particularly the audio version read by John McDonough. It is a delightful story that charmed its way into our family and stayed with us.

Words to Avoid List

One of the pages of my writing notebook is dedicated to words and phrases that I am not-ever-under-any-circumstances-whatsoever allowed to use in my writing. Some of these avoid-at-all-costs items come from manuals and other instructional writing. Others reach out and slap me when I'm reading for fun. So far, the list isn't very long, but it's growing.

• Got should only be used when you are trying to portray a character's ignorance, and only through dialogue. I've got to stop using it.
• "The fact that is an especially debilitating expression. It should be revised out of every sentence in which it occurs." (Strunk & White, The Elements of Style)
• It was (fill in the blank with an adjective) than he/she/they had ever seen/imagined-you practically trip over phrases like this in descriptive passages of fiction. "The castle was more beautiful than she could have dreamed." "The mountain was taller than anything he had ever seen." Each time I read them it jolts me out of the story and makes me want to holler at the author for being so lazy.

Do you have any words or phrases that you would edit out of a story if you could?

Many Thanks!

Well vacation was...well, it's over anyway. Many, many thanks to all of my guest authors this week. I am in the process of designing a special token of my appreciation for your contributions. Sparkly, limited edition swag to be revealed...soon.

Regular posting will resume on Monday.

Chester the Mouse-Guest post

The following post was provided by MRC (aka FlowerWind), 7 year old author, crafting tornado, and second born daughter. This is the first chapter of her NaNoWriMo novel from last November*. If you are unfamiliar with the Young Writer's Program at NaNo, I highly recommend the workbook you can print out. It is a great tool for teaching young ones about noveling.

Chester the Mouse

Chapter One-The Adventure Begins
Once upon a time there was a mouse. His name was Chester. Chester lived in a hole under a mushroom in the garden. The mushroom was quiet and peaceful.
Chester had three neighbors. The first was a brown rabbit named Pinkie. Pinkie had a white fluffy tail. She lived in a raspberry bush. The second neighbor was Binky the tortoise. Binky lives in a tree stump out near the ditch. Squirrel was the third neighbor. He lives in a hole in a tree. He has a collection of nuts. He collects them before winter.
Chester was lonely in his hole by himself. Every sunny day he would go out for a walk over to Binky’s house. Sometimes, he would go to Pinkie’s house. And sometimes, he would even go to Squirrel’s house. On rainy days, Chester would stay home. In the morning he would suck on candy canes that he had found in an old picnic basket. Later he would take naps and eat breakfast and lunch and go to sleep for the night.
For a week, he spent the night at Squirrel’s house.
In May, He would go to the store and buy some sliced cheese, peanut butter, and party stuff. Squirrel’s birthday was on June 1st.
After Squirrel’s birthday all of the visitors would go home and sleep for the night. Binky would go to his tree stump. Pinkie would go to her raspberry bush. Squirrel would stay at her house. And Chester would go to his mushroom.

*I do hereby declare that I typed this manuscript exactly as it was dictated to me, in spite of an overwhelming urge to spot edit.

Writing Partners-Guest post

The following post was contributed by AM Jenner (aka Romana). She is the one who pesters me about point of view issues and overusing the word "that". And I appreciate every bit of it. She has written and published several books with her partner. You can find them, and much more, at her website. Here is what she has to say about co-authoring.

Working with a partner is very easy for me, because I've always worked with one. There are both advantages and disadvantages in having a partner to write with.
The main advantage is having a sounding board, someone to bounce ideas off, and who can help you when you're stuck. A partner is someone who will help you create a world...and then destroy it if necessary.
The main disadvantage is in having to swallow your pride, both during the editing process and when talking about your successes later. "We wrote that." just doesn't have the same ring, or feeling to it as "I wrote that."; especially if your partner is not standing near enough to physically include in the "we". Sometimes it makes me feel others think I'm being snobby, using the royal "we"...so if you catch me on my own, I'm more likely to use the singular; not because I don't value or recognize my partner's contributions, but because of the way American English is wired.

There is a lot of trust involved in a writing partnership. You have to trust your partner to tell you honestly if an idea is worth pursuing or if it's absolute rubbish. You have to trust your partner with your characters; to help you shape their lives and stories correctly.
Sometimes you have a story so perfectly in your head you can't see where it doesn't hang together. It's very hard not to get mad at your partner while they try to tell you what's wrong with the world you're so proud of creating. It's also hard to contain your frustration and anger when you can see the glaring hole in your partner's plot and you can't find the words to make them understand what you mean.
If you both can stay calm and realize this is not a personal attack; the stories you write together can end up encompassing the best qualities each of you has to give. Each person can bring their strengths and make up for the deficiencies of the other, and the stories conceived and produced by your partnership will be better than anything either of you can produce alone.
The excitement, joy, and pleasure of shared creation...that's how writing is for my partner and me.

A M Jenner

Vanity Plates-Guest post

The following poetry was submitted by Frank (aka Grumpy of "Grumpy Grinch"), fellow letterboxers and rhymers extraordinaire.

Vanity Plates

As I was driving through the States
I took a glance at license plates.
Some were clever; some were dense
Of some I couldn't make much sense.
I think that fellow boxing fans
Should offer us their license plans.
I like AQLBXR
1MORBX, attracts, for sure.
B,X,C,R,Z,Y, need I
Explain to you exactly why,
Turns my mind to boxing thoughts,
Lovely views and hiding spots.
LUV2BOX is what we feel,
IMBOXIN has a great appeal.
But I have found, unfortunately,
That in these matters often we
Are thwarted by the DMV.

Red Wing--Guest post

The following is a post provided by JLC (aka DoodlePaws), 11 year old author, graphic novelist, and first born daughter.

Red Wing, an Eastern Red Bat in the barn, watched what happened every day. The men working on the tractors, the sparrows building mud nests on the ceilings, the clatter of tools; but one thing for sure, he was extremely bored with it. The only stuff he could do was stare, doze, doze and stare. His sister, Gigi, however, was finding all sorts of things to do. She fluttered around the barn, off walls, through piles of hay, weaving in and out of lattice. But of course, Red Wing was bored with that too.
“I get no cure for boredom these days.” He said. “I know that because every day is absolutely the same. Not a single scrap of new life. Curtain rods!” He’d always think.
Gigi always had the same answer to that.
“Yeah, issues. But sadly I can’t find a cure for your feelings. You spice it up yourself.
Sometimes beating boredom is harder than it looks, isn’t it? When it comes to Red Wing’s boredom, people aren’t kidding when they say that.”
“I don’t know how long I can last,” thought Red Wing.
The tractors, sparrows, tools and Gigi went on doing ordinary stuff.
“I think I’m gonna die!” Red Wing yelled.
When he couldn’t stand it anymore, he flew down and screamed at it all:
“Every day’s so boring, it’s outrageous.”
But of course, all the people could hear was squeaking.
“I’m outta here! Aren’t you listening to me?”
Still no answer. Maybe Gigi was right after all. So Red Wing decided that he would have to leave things the way they are. He told Gigi she was right, which made her smile. Even Red Wing smiled. This was going to be a better day than he expected.
“This barn is still great!” He said out loud.

In Defense of Limericks--Guest post

The following post was contributed by Mark Berkeland (aka Wassamatta_U), friend (I certainly wouldn't want him as an enemy), pun master, and all around good egg (Did I just call Wassa an egg?).

I really feel like the Lowly Limerick often gets short shrift, and feel it is my duty to defend this form of poetry as being more than meets (or meters) the eye. And so, without further ado, here is my post:

"The assignment for today is simple. Write a limerick."

I'm afraid I have to disagree with this. Limericks, when done well, are NOT "simple." Allow me to pontificate about one of my favorite forms of writing... the lowly Limerick.

I love limericks. What other form of poetry depends almost solely on the use of a "punch line?" Bad puns or twists are almost a requirement of a good limerick, and those are the sorts of things I really enjoy doing. But to successfully pull off a really top-notch limerick takes a lot of effort, for what one would THINK is a simple poetic form. Heck, the meter is well-defined, there's only 5 little lines, it uses a standard AABBA scheme... what could be so hard?

Aye, but there's the rub.

As any writer of short stories knows, the limited length limits your ability to "build" the story. One must be succinct, and choose very carefully what elements to include so that the story can build without exceeding it's natural size limitations. The same is true, only magnified, with a good limerick. It is DARN HARD to set up a good joke in 5 lines!!! And SHORT lines, to boot! You really have to work at stuffing your thoughts into such a limited space, especially when there is the further restriction of meter and rhyme. You have to choose your words very carefully, and you don't have the luxury of wasting a single syllable.

Which brings us to the NEXT challenge for the limerick writer... the rhyme scheme. Remember how I said the limerick has a punch line? I misspoke. More often, it is a punch WORD. In other words, the REAL kicker rests solely on the very last word of the poem. Everything else is leading up to that ONE WORD. Naturally, there are always exceptions (as with any literary form: see "Kate DiCamillo"... but I digress). But mostly, one doesn't make the joke earlier in the last line. And heaven forbid trying to stick the joke in the AABB part! People would stop reading at that point! No... the final word is where the limerick gets it's true power. But wait.... that's not ALL! As with MOST jokes, the limerick punch depends on the UNEXPECTED. People shouldn't see it coming from a mile away, at least with a REALLY good limerick. Obfuscating the joke would be a lot easier if you could do it somewhere within that last line, but no... we have to do it as the last word. And since we are sticking to AABBA, that last punchline word has to rhyme. And it has to rhyme with not just ONE other line, but TWO other lines (the FIRST two). And since those other two WERE the first two lines, the reader has had time to anticipate "other words" that will rhyme with those. Thus making it VERY difficult to surprise them! It's gotta rhyme (though close-rhymes, or Tom Lehrer-type pseudo rhymes, in my opinion, are not only acceptable but preferred), and it's gotta be unexpected. And it has to fit in the meter. And you have to build to it. Put it all together, and it is an absolute WONDER that anyone can EVER write a really good limerick!

And so, Dear Stacy, I must take issue with your opening line: "The assignment for today is simple. Write a limerick." A truly good limerick, though easy to READ and to UNDERSTAND, can be darn HARD to craft!

End of Sermon.

I figured after my Limerick Rant, I should also include an appropriate
example of said poetry. Just tack it on the end of my rant:

A Limerick's the kind of a poem,
That makes you start scratching your dome.
'Cause it's hard to explain,
Why these rhymes are a pain,
But I think once you see 'em, you'll know 'em.