Test Drive

Here is a bit of naughty fun. The prompt, from Zachary Petit's Blog, Promptly, was:

You go on a test drive in a new car. With the dealership representative in the passenger seat, you pull to the side of the road, turn off the engine, and lock the doors. “There’s something I should tell you,” you say.

Test Drive

I positioned myself in front of the wall of windows so that the sunlight would hint at my shape beneath the sheer skirt.The GQ salesman took the bait and approached, his smile doing laps around his face.I tried not to roll my eyes when he pointed out the vanity mirrors and cups holders.
“Does it carry the AJ34S or the new V6 III?”
His surprise registered noticeably.Oh, this was going to be good.A few more minutes of the necessary shop talk and he scooted off to fetch the keys.
I’ve always been a sucker for wild cats; and it was a magnificent car.The card in my wallet said his name was Jeff. He really was quite charming.Sometimes the end does justify the means, however, and the guilt vanished when I imagined how this was going to end.
The car squirted through traffic like a bead of liquid mercury.When I slipped it into the lot at the prearranged gas station, Jeff exuded reassurance.
“Oh, there is no need to purchase fuel, Ma’am. The dealership will take care of that when we return.”
“We’re not going back.”
Uncertainty clouded his eyes and I could see that he was composing his response.


“Of course, I meant when you were satisfied with the test drive, Ma’am”
“That’s just it, Jeff.This isn’t a test drive.My husband and I are borrowing your car.”
He reached for the door, but I put my hand on his arm to get his attention as my husband, what’s his name, slid into the rear seat.I pulled away from the station, and the precariousness of his situation finally dawned on Jeff.
“You…you’re stealing this car?But your ID and vehicle are back at the dealership!”
“Ever heard of fake IDs, Jeff?And we borrowed that car only this morning.It probably hasn’t even been reported missing yet.”
“Your faces will be all over the news by suppertime!”
“Maybe.But we have dinner reservations in Havana, don’t we, Honey?”
“You can’t do this!You simply can’t steal this car!”
Jeff was starting to sweat. Please, don’t let him do anything stupid.
“Borrow, Jeff, we’re just borrowing it.We have to make a quick run at the bank.I mean to the bank.”
His face had gone from blush to beet and his voice was a taut guitar wire.We had him.
“You’re not.Please tell me that you’re not going to rob the bank.”
“Not without your help, Jeff.See, we need somebody to drive for us once we get the money.”
The poor salesman slumped in his seat, his face now ashen.I was beginning to worry he wouldn’t make it through this.I glanced at my partner and saw him nod.
“I’d rather you just shoot me.”Jeff said.
“They’ve been shooting ever since we met.Ever hear of Candid Camera?The new season starts this fall and you’re our pilot episode, Jeff.”